Daphne

Blog Post

Introducing my newest little member of my family…

Daphne.

Daphne is a miniture pinscher and chihuahua mix. She weighs somewhere between 8-12 pounds. She is 10 years old and the sweetest little woman. She barely barks, gets along with everyone, sleeps like a teenager, and loves to snuggle.

I adopted her from the most precious rescue down in San Francisco, called Muttville. It is a senior dog rescue (meaning they only recuse dogs 7 years and older). They are the friendliest people. The process of adopting her wasn’t that fast of an experience. It required a lot of thought and research. I grew up with animals and so I knew the commitment and effort that they require. I did not make the decision to take on that responsibility lightly.

Eventually I began to feel stressed about it all and I felt like the Lord told me that He had “the perfect one for me.” I chose to trust Him and that same day, this dog seemed to fall into my lap. She was uploaded to Muttville’s website. Her breed, size, and gender were all things that I really wanted. And, that tongue was officially what sold me. There were so many other parts of this adoption that made it perfect. Everything seemed to confirm that this precious girl was meant to be mine.

After receiving her, I felt like The Lord has told me that she is going to teach me many things.

Well, let me tell you…He did not lie! I have had her for a total of five days and I have already been stretched so much. It hasn’t been the multiple walks a day or the other required responsibilities. The thing that has been so stretching is it has required patience for myself.

As soon as I got her I felt so much pressure to feel a certain way about Daphne. I felt like I had to love her completely instantaneously. And if I am being completely honest, that has taken time. This whole process has brought up a lot of fear, too. What if I can’t do this? What if she dies? Is she throwing up? Is she about to pee? What if she runs away? Is this food okay? Is she happy? I’ve been so afraid. And all of that fear has kept love at a distance. As I began to realize that I was fixed on the fear, not on the love, I have gotten some clarity:

this is just taking me time.

I need time to get used to being a dog owner. I need time to get used to Daphne’s personality. I need time to learn our new routine. I need time. But, yet, I have just been adding more and more pressure. (disclaimer: on day 5, I am head over heels for Daphne. But all this fear has made it all difficult)

Yesterday I was talking to a friend. He proceeded to quote 1 Corinthians 13 saying that “love is patient, love is kind…” and as soon as he said that I realized that I have needed new levels of patience for myself in this whole dog process. I have needed to give myself the time and grace required to fall in love with this new friend. I have needed to be allowed to take time and I have needed to give my grace when the fears come up, or when I spend money on food she doesn’t like, or when I go to work.

I am growing. I am learning. I deserve patience.

So, I have begun the process of changing my perspective and incorporating a new aspect of self love: patience. This process begins by simply keeping this new truth at the front of my mind: I deserve to have patience with myself. I keep thinking about that concept and I keep repeating the truth. The next step is to actively act on this new truth. I must have patience with myself.

How do you have patience with yourself? Give ya girl some tips below! PS: make sure you’re subscribing to my blog! (on the right hand side) By subscribing, all new blog posts will be sent directly to your email!

Sending you all the love…

XO,

M

Rise Up

Blog Post

This is for the ones that are struggling,

the ones that need support.

This is for the ones that are having a hard time.

This is for the ones in battle,

the ones that need someone.

This is for the weak.

This is for the broken.

This is for the sad…

you

are

worth

more

You are more than the things that you are facing.

You are more than the scabs and scars found upon your arms.

You are more than the weapons in your hands.

You are more than the thorns around your ankles.

You are more than the weakness of your knees and your bloody knuckles.

You are more than the dark nights of lonely tears.

I am here to tell you that YOU ARE MORE.

This is your call to action.

This is your sign that you deserve more.

If you are settling for anything that doesn’t push you to your greatness or

if you are content eating the crumbs of life.

If you are surrounded by poison or

trapped by societal expectation.

If you are held down by fear.

If you are held captive by insecurity…

say “No.”

Say “no” to the things that are holding you down.

Say “no” to the people that are critiquing you.

Say “no” to the people and places that are feeding you crumbs.

Say “no” to fear, insecurity, anxiety, and comparison.

And say “yes”to your magic.

Say “yes” to your inner power and capability.

Say “yes” to the greater things

Say “yes” to a better tomorrow.

Say “yes” to more laughter.

Say “yes” to fullness.

I do not care what it is that you are facing or what your reasoning for living less than, it is a lie.

It is a lie that you cannot overcome everything that gets in your way.

Imagine the possibilities if you would only believe in your inner power and capabilities.

Imagine if you took responsibility of your life and fought for the deep desires inside your heart.

So, Rise up.

Make life the way you want it.

Embrace every pain.

Love every curve.

Kiss every day.

Be brave.

Stand tall.

Buy the dress.

Eat the cupcake.

Sing louder.

Speak your truth.

Rise up.

January 2018

Blog Post

FF5FD830-951F-419A-A153-B91EE564DCE8.JPG

Latte steaming scents

of wicked adrenaline,

and false peace.

Words dripping from my finger tips,

exciting my senses.

My inner winds juxtaposed

by the worlds crumbling.

Life rising between your floorboards,

providing breath to this deathly cage.

Noises circling my inner world,

the city lights lighting my eyes,

just one in a crowd.

— Lydia’s on Ludlow ( 1. 4. 2018)

63B17116-A4E0-47FE-8A86-ECEC3420AD1B.JPG

Billowing fog, covering your feet

trees rising up, springing life in

every single twitch of toes.

Streams of twinkle tears

pour down each crinkle

of your time.

Towering high, high above. Up

in the skies. A tower of so much

more than your great hope.

Birds circle you. Calling

our your majesties. Mysteries

imbedded within your core.

My constant one, ever

increasing and always growing.

You’ll never leave me.

You are my North Star

and my House of Life.

You are my companion and

my saving grace.

I dare to climb. Pieces of you

collected and crumbled in my hands.

You lift me higher than my

inner clouds could ever go. you

show me the sunshine and

shadow. I am overshadowed,

never alone but wrapped up

in your collection

— My mountain top experience (1. 14. 2018)

Processed with VSCO with p5 preset

I am a trier.

I try really hard.

No matter what is

at hand, I try.

I try too much,

losing my innate

value and only

seeing worth based

on how good I’ve tried.

I try at everything,

nothing coming easily

and always trying.

I try by the clothes

I wear, trying to

communicate an

effortless ease.

I try by my eating,

only consuming

things that make me

try harder.

I try by my voice,

speaking words that

try to sway your eyes

to see the good try

I’ve given. I try really

hard to be the girl

you’ve always wanted.

I tried too hard and

I can’t keep up with

all my trys.  I’ve decided

I might try something

else instead.

-Tried (1. 18. 18)

EA8A4BF9-CF6B-433E-8BF9-832F100B5450.JPG