Hitting the Target of Self Love

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Yesterday I had a couple hours of unexpected free time. So I want to Target (classic). I have an upcoming wedding to go to and need an outfit to wear. I raided their women’s clothing section on the hunt for an outfit.

With a pile of clothes in my hands, I went into the dressing room.

I don’t know if anyone else experiences this, but I basically hate dressing rooms. It seems that the lighting within the dressing rooms always accentuate my “flaws.” My cellulite is always louder and prouder than any other time. I seem to always discover new curves and rolls. Also, dressing rooms can be fairly discouraging when nothing ends up working out.

When I entered the dressing room there was absolutely no one in sight. I thought to myself about how pleasant this experience was going to be…just a girl surrounded by some cute clothes. (Positive self-talk for the win!)

About half way through my stack of clothes, with nothing fitting right, two girls entered the dressing room. As they walked in, I heard them critique their bodies.

“At least things fit you. Nothing fits me,” one said.

While the other went, “Not really! I don’t have a butt. Things don’t look right”

As they went on their negative rants…I froze in my own little room. My heart broke hearing their self-criticisms. It stopped me in my tracks because I was having those same thoughts about myself.

I wanted to tell the girls that regardless of what their body looked like, they deserve love.

Regardless of what my body looks like, I deserve love.

Regardless of what your body looks like, you deserve love.

It was a really sad experience. But it was eye opening. I guess it reminded me that we are all a work in progress. We all have things to work on. We all have criticism towards ourselves. But my goal is to change that. I don’t want to have any negativity towards myself. I don’t want you to have any negativity towards yourself.

Recently, I have wanted to develop my fashion more. I have been feeling this urge to take bigger risks in my attire and this whole experience pushed me to do that. (Please appreciate this selfie of me in the Target dressing room wearing my oversized Steve from  Blue’s Clues sweater)

Does it really matter if I have a butt? Or that none of the dresses I tried on at Target seemed to fit right? Does it really matter that I have rolls or cellulite? Does it really matter if my outfit is trendy?

Ultimately, it doesn’t.

I want to live bold and fearless, which includes in my style and loving my body just the way it is.

Let me know your favorite part of your body down in the comments!!

XO,

M

#BodyLove

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Happy February! The month of love! This month I have challenged myself to be a bit more active in my relationship with myself. I want to be more intentional about the love I am extending to me.

To start this month off, I wanted to write about the power of loving your body (yiiikes).

#BodyLove

As someone that has struggled with body image issues my entire life, I know that some of you will not want to read this post. I wouldn’t have, but I promise it is worth it! No Shame Allowed.

Why should we pursue a positive attitude towards our bodies?

Our relationship with our bodies affect everything. It affects our quality of life, our confidence, our perception of the world, our adventures, and our relationships. It affects our mental, emotional, and physical health.

Our bodies are a representation of ourselves. Our bodies are the first thing we share with the world. Our bodies is what takes up space in this world (a space that each of us deeply deserve).

The beauty standards of our society (at least in America) are impossible. Did you hear that? I M P O S S I B L E. Jes Baker, in her book Things No One Tells Fat Girls, states that for 95% of women it is completely impossible for their bodies to achieve the current beauty standard of America. In order for a man to achieve the current beauty standard of America, that man would have to dedicate his entire day, everyday, to achieve that body. To me, these statements make the beauty standard null and void (but does not diminish the pressure to achieve those standards).

Lastly, if we added more acceptance, more love, and more positive attitudes towards our bodies, we would change the world. The world is filled with comparison, anger, anxiety, and filled with people that believe they are worthless. If we all began to accept our bodies, allowing ourselves to take up space in this world, we would fill the world with more life. The world would become a fuller and more beautiful place.

How do we pursue a positive attitude towards our bodies?

I think it begins by making the powerful choice to fight. You must decide to face the monster of body-hate and instead, actively pursue more acceptance and more love towards your body.

After you’ve made the brave choice to fight, you have to be gracious to yourself. For me, I have about eighteen years of bad habits towards my body…I need to recognize that I won’t solve those in a day or two. It I going to take time. It takes time to change those patterns. Everyone has good days and everyone has bad days. I have bad body days and so does the next body positive advocate. So, be kind to yourself and recognize that body-love is not just a switch of a flip…but taking a step forward each day.

I think the act of body-love looks like acceptance. It looks like you stop fighting against your body and instead fight for your body. Instead of hiding who you are, boldly share who you are with the world and yourself. Acceptance is a journey, but each day you are presented with small opportunities to accept your body.

Lastly, and probably most importantly, flood your life with truth. This looks like being educated on topics about bodies, and specifically your body. This looks like surrounding yourself with people that are fighting this battle for body acceptance, too. This looks like drowning your thoughts and talk with truths. This looks like declarations (declaring what you want, higher truths, and positive things). I read this book once, Love Yourself: Like your Life Depends on it by Kamal Ravikant, about a man that hated his life and wanted to die. After spending one month consistently telling himself “I love myself” his perspective about himself and life completely changed. ONE MONTH. Declarations change things!

Body love isn’t an easy thing to talk about, face, or pursue. But, as a woman that has fought hard for the love she has towards her body…it is  w o r t h  it! If you are just beginning to give your body the attention and love it deserves, don’t worry! You aren’t alone and welcome to the #BodyLove club!

I want to leave you with this quote from Jes Baker (from her book Things No One Will Tell Fat Girls)…

“We build our lives around the belief that we are undeserving of attention, love, and amazing opportunities, when in reality this couldn’t be further from the truth.”

To all you lovely men and women, YOU deserve some body love, too! I would LOVE to continue this conversation down below. Leave your comments, questions below. Also, tell me how you are loving your body boldly today!

XO,

M