Hi, beautiful readers, it has been some time. Far too long since I have written here. I could give you so many excuses as to where I have been, but that doesn’t seem as entertaining as the truth.
This whole blog process seems like a stranger. It feels foreign, writing my internal thoughts through the repetition of finger taps. I have missed it, tremendously. This was never my intention, to take a break, but life swept me up in it’s chaos.
The last time I wrote, my life was changing. I had the subconscious attitude to hunker down and survive as my life pushed and pulled me here and there. I wanted to show my strength. I wanted to show my ability to overcome. I wanted to show my bravery. So, I just faced it all head on.
Bravery is a beautiful thing, but sometimes it robs you of the power of vulnerability, the power of emotion, the power of mess.
Anyways, my life got flipped upside down and I was just trying to stay afloat in the midst of it. I lost my job. I no longer could see my immediate support system everyday. And I was no longer safe in a bubble of known conservatism. Having grown up in the church, I knew how the conservative side of America like the back of my hand. But, what happens when, in a way, I was pushed out of that safe bubble. Well, I began to discover new perspectives.
I walked, head held high, into a campus crawling with liberals, strangers, and challengers. I was pushed to the edges of what I believe, how I believe and who I am. These strangers that I walked the halls with, have sharpened me and watered me. They have created a new version of me that is more beautiful than the last.
Now, I am not saying that I have given up all my previous beliefs or radically thrown my moral compass out the window (even though I was given plenty of offers to do just that). I am just saying that the juxtaposition of my church-bubble compared to my new, daily, community of students has really made me find my own two feet to stand one. No longer am I accepting of a belief, lifestyle, or behavior simply because others want me to or because it was what I was taught, instead… I am discovering what I think.
The battle of this semester has distracted me from a lot of my hobbies and passions (like this blog). But I am back with a vengeance.