Black Panther (Guest Post: Ra Mcbride)

Blog Post

Can you believe that March is almost done?! 2018 is flying by. March has been such an interesting month. A big part of my job involved working for a school program. So, our graduation is quickly approaching and so things around work quite a bit busy. But, things are going well (but I am sure that a deeper update will be headed our way soon!)

Anyways, this week I have another special gift for my beloved readers! This week, I have a guest post for you by a powerful man. Have you ever met someone that was just made for the spotlight? Like, they were just created to be seen and actually have the capabilities to be seen by the world? That is this man.

Ra Mcbride.D985342F-3038-48B2-9E04-A7D9BA7B4E44

I had to narrow it down to describe Ra with one would it would be overcomer. He has fought to overcome the things that he has been faced with in life. One day, I will ask him to write a post about his story but today, I asked him to write a commentary on the newest movie Black Panther.

When I watched this movie I was amazed! I was absolutely shocked at the radical statements that this movie was making. Being a white woman in 2018, I felt like I only scratched the surface of understanding the severity of this movie. Ra and I both have seen this movie multiple times. I, have recognized this being one of those cultural momentous moments. While Ra, has recognized this being a moment of understanding and acceptance of his race, culture, and his future.

Let this post challenge you, regardless of your race. Fight to change your perspective. Fight to change societies perspective. Acceptance needs to happen to an even greater degree.

Thanks for checking out this blog post. Let me know your thoughts in the comments below! Ps: Have you seen Black Panther? Go see it.

XO

M

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Black Panther is a must see. It easily transcended being “a good black” movie, or “a good superhero” movie.

This film was a cultural statement.

I personally think some of the points hit were not even intentional. I think it was just art evolving into something more, the way good art tends to do.

See this movie. And if you’re black, really see this movie.Why it it a must see for BLACK people? All around, films that represent us well, are few. This movie has an all star, all black, leading cast and they did an amazing job. I feel they touch on the overall social issue of oppression of the black community, without making the movie a political statement itself.

To watch a film where the black nation was the royalty, creatives, innovators, strategists, and were credited as such, is something black people need to see.

To see these very dark skinned people that are beautiful and natural, without them having to change anything about themselves (like their hair, attire, or speech) in order to fit a culture dominated by a white perspective, was affirming and soooo empowering. They executed all this without demeaning anyone else’s culture. This movie has the capacity to push my people to have conversation (and execution) of greater self expectation, value, and unity with all people.

 

Now to be clear to my lovely white family,

Often when pro-black media/culture is released people tend to think it’s instantly AGAINST something else (namely, white media/culture). While, yes, sometimes that is the case, that cannot be a blanket expectation for black art. I personally think it stems from fear of either, “changing history” or “seeming racist” and that’s not the intention.

The celebration of one thing doesn’t have to mean the persecution of another.

We can ALL win.

The way to respond to celebration is celebration.

If you don’t understand, ask questions. In the words of T’Challa, “The wise build bridges, while the foolish build barriers.” I feel like the Unity conversation is a WHOLE other topic, but if we can peacefully and loving dialogue, we can move forward together.

Wakanda Forever,

Ra

The Power of Me (Guest Post: Destiny Story)

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One thing I want to use this social platform for is to promote and celebrate the people around me. I am someone that searches for lessons & inspiration from those around me and I want to share those stunning people with you all!

This first guest post is by a woman that is dear to my heart. She has been in my life for almost two years and I am deeply blessed by her:

Destiny Story EFC06971-A31D-486D-A638-69E09A6FAE27.JPG

When I think about who Destiny is I think of one word: brave. She is a woman that looks at life, her challenges, her fears, her dreams and responds to them bravely. Destiny has bravely stood in the wilderness of life and come out to the other side. She has stood, alone and scared, and yet she has not turned away.

Destiny Story is a brave woman.

In this post she has written, she shares about some of her wilderness. She shares about a process that I’ve had the privilege to watch her walk through. And as a witness to this time in her life, I can safely say that she has a lot of wisdom & inspiration on the things she shares. So, let her sweet words inspire you!

XO,

M

Ps: You can check out D’s blog here: https://destinystoryblog.wordpress.com

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My whole life I’ve felt like I wasn’t enough, or honestly, that I was just too much. I’ve felt not skinny enough, not talented enough, not pretty enough, not smart enough, not funny enough, not good enough. I’ve felt too loud, too tall, too fat, too opinionated, too passive, too emotional, too sensitive, too different.

I’ve always felt like I was different and I’ve spent most of my life just trying to decide if what made me different was good or bad. But I think somewhere around 7th grade I subconsciously decided that it was a bad thing, a really bad thing, that would forever keep me separated from those around me. I thought I would never be able to connect with people because it felt as if people never wanted to connect to me (my parents and friends) or that I was always “too much, not enough” for the people around me to connect with. I felt creative but was never shown it was okay to be creative in ways that didn’t quite make sense and I was never shown it was okay for it not to be perfect. I buried myself in perfectionism because it seemed all the amazing people were, and the sad part was that people around me wouldn’t have known because it was all in my internal world! It revealed itself in my self talk and my constant attempts to “fix” myself that only led to me feeling suicidal.

Even after I became a Christian, it only intensified. Except this time thankfully I was healed enough to not feel suicidal, but I did feel like the weight and the pressure of always doing things perfectly would eventually break me. I had somewhere, along my journey in life, picked up this idea that the real me was too messy and would never be good enough so I needed to make up for it with perfect actions. Ha! Funny, huh? I mean this was definitely not something I would consciously know I was doing! It would look like me trying really hard, being praised for my actions, and then making a mistake and beating myself up for it for days and thinking “what else could I have done? I’m doing everything I can and it’s still not enough!” and then eventually trying to make up for it by pretending like it didn’t happen and continue doing more things that would look perfect.

But the problem with this is that I had equated being “enough” to things that were unattainable, like never making a mistake or never hurting anyone’s feelings. Anybody ever been through something like this? Ever try to perform for love? I’m guessing that I’m probably not alone in this. I’ve noticed as a human race, generally we have more grace for others than we do ourselves.

But sometime last year I decided this thing that made me different may not have actually ever been a bad thing! What if my imperfections made me beautiful? What if my emotions made things fun and are natural? What if my sensitivity wasn’t a weakness, but a strength? What if my chubby body could be enough for me and eventually someone else? What if making mistakes only made me human? Could I still be loved if someone saw them? If I were fully me, mistakes and all, would I be enough?

These were the questions running through my head and I made the decision that I was going to try being seen. I decided to show people that I was different. I decided to try allowing myself to be loved through my mistakes. Because when I try to be “perfect” I still don’t feel like I’m enough, and I never get to be truly authentic. And that life wasn’t working for me.

I went to Oregon last year on a missions trip and after days of barely sleeping and not being able to control a single thing, I could feel my emotions starting to rise. And as they got closer to the surface I could feel them starting to bubble over into my actions. I was short with people and I was crying uncontrollably. I felt embarrassed but free. I knew that these people doing life with me would see a side of me I was afraid of showing to people that hadn’t been in my life for an extended period of time. But I couldn’t care anymore. I decided to take a risk and be vulnerable and see how they responded.

And to my freaking surprise they still loved me!

And not only that, they complemented me! They asked me what I needed, they encouraged me, and they loved me through it. And not just once, but repetitively. I was UNDONE. This was not a way of life that I was familiar with! But I knew I could never turn back.

I’m coming up on a year since that trip and as I reflect I see that my journey of accepting myself and being vulnerably me, has not been a fun or pretty journey. I have hid, I have made some of the most painful mistakes I’ve ever made this past year and I’ve been the most myself I’ve ever been in my whole life. I’ve never been as open with those close to me quiet like I have in this past year. I’m loving who Destiny is more than I thought possible and I know there’s only so much more!

You see, perfectionism tells you that until you do everything right, you aren’t enough. But a life of freedom looks like vulnerability. It looks like showing the world who you truly are and not wavering in the truth that,

you are enough. No questions asked.

A life of freedom consists of making mistakes and allowing the people who are close to you into them because you do not deserve to be alone during it. A life of freedom looks like you being confident in what you enjoy doing and wearing. A life of freedom looks like creating without comparison.

Being vulnerably you will set you free from perfectionism or performance. There’s nothing quiet like when you allow yourself to be who you’ve always been in the inside. And I promise dear friends, there are people who are dying to love you as you. All your unique characteristics, all the things you’ve thought were too much, all of the parts of you that you thought weren’t enough, they are worthy of love. Because we all have them, let’s be honest. None of us have it all together. But none of us have to pretend like we do anymore. I’m starting to see that the people I admire the most are people who are unashamedly them. Unwavering to the opinions of others, they stand tall in who they are and they let themselves show. This is strength. This is vulnerability. Vulnerability is strength. And this is who I want to be. I am deciding that I will no longer look at people on social media, the models on tv or Pinterest, or even the people around me and think “I wish I were like them”, but instead I will say

“I’m thankful that I am ME. Because no one can be ME.”

So dear ones, will you join me in living a life of being vulnerably us? Will you join me in leaving perfectionism and comparison behind?? Let us celebrate who we are and what we create and what we do well, because we were always designed to do it the way only we can do it.

Xoxo

Destiny Story

#MoreSelfLove