Peeing on My Life

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So last week I came home to find my precious dog covered in pee. I had crated her up (we are working on crate training) and she apparently had an accident. The pee was everywhere. She got excited when she saw me and began to jump around. As she jumped, she splashed the urine all around. She smelled horrible. There was pee all around her crate. I didn’t have any other option but to scoop her up (getting pee on myself), bathe her clean (getting myself covered in water), and clean up the mess.

It was a disaster.

The sweet girl didn’t mean to make a mess. She was doing the best that she could. Unfortunately, despite her attempts, she made a mess. A big one.

It got me thinking. How many areas in my life am I peeing all over? How many areas am I splashing my urine on? Am I covered in my own, self-inflicted punishment?

It made me think about how I overthink my abilities and stress myself out. I have a tendency to think myself into a rut of sorts.

This whole situation is a great example. When I found Daphne (the dog) had used the bathroom in the crate, I felt TERRIBLE. I felt so bad and felt like a failure of a dog mom. I kept focusing on how much of a failure I am. I thought myself into a rut of disappointment. I peed all over my dog-mom abilities. And was in that rut for days.

I, far too often, get wrapped up in my thoughts and my opinions of something that I miss the actual success of the situation. What a smelly reality.

Another area of my life I have peed upon is my eating habits. A couple months ago I was vegan (for about 5 or 6 months) and ever since I stopped, I haven’t been content with my eating. I have struggled to figure out a good rhythm to my eating. And because of my lack of rhythm, I have just continued to throw guilt upon myself for my eating. I have just been peeing on myself.

And there are definitely so many other areas that I have been peeing upon myself. I have been spoiling my own life.

Basically what I mean is ruining my own life because of my own expectation or what I think I should do.

What a terrible life to live being constantly squashed by your own expectation.

I hate that. I keep trying to measure up to this unrealistic, self-inflicted, standard that I can’t.

I need to just be.

This cycle can end.

Have you been peeing on your own life? Have you been ruining things despite your best efforts? Let me know in the comments below…we have to unite in these moments! (:

XO,

M

(PS: Photo cred to my girl Annika Botha. Check her out!)

Dennis

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Hello beautiful readers,

How are you? How are you really? (Let me know in the comments below!).

I know that this blog post is multiple days late and I am so sorry for that but I have an explanation. My blog posts go up at sometime on Wednesdays, that is something I have tried really hard to stick with. But this Wednesday my church family got some devastating news.

A person that has been in our environment for two years went missing on Thursday. On Monday afternoon a suicide note was found. And on Wednesday, the search team found his body.

To say that this family is devastated is an understatement.

His name was Dennis. He was a sweet man that was super creative, a good friend, and a fighter.

I didn’t know him well, but I am still devastated at his loss. I didn’t know how to post a casual blog post on a day with such a loss. It didn’t feel right. And since then, I have questioned how to post about Dennis.

Loss is not something most people are okay with, and when it is the loss of a life…it is much harder. It is sad to never see that person smile again, or hear their laugh. It is sad to know they are no longer here on earth. But, there is also a great beauty in celebrating a life.

I think that each life has a calling to inspire, encourage, and push people to greatness. Dennis has done that, even after his passing. I have heard sooo many people talk of the inspiration that Dennis has left them with.

I want to listen more.

I want to judge less and accept more.

I want to listen to my internal voice more.

I think that each person that has interacted with Dennis is currently reflecting back on all the inspiration he brought to their life and it has been an honor to watch people grow from the man that Dennis was. Although, we all wish he was still here with us.

I wanted to write this post not only to remember Dennis, but also to talk about suicide. Suicide is no joke. If you (or someone you know) has suicidal thoughts…ask for help. I know that it might seem scary, but it is a fear worthy of facing.

You deserve life, so I challenge you to fight for it. Even if it doesn’t seem worth it…get help. Regardless of who it is from, get help. (Here is a great resource!)

I promise, things get better. Regardless of what you’re facing…there is hope and breakthrough can be yours.

(I am aware that this post does not solve your problem. but I want you to know that there is hope)

Let me know how YOU are really doing in the comments below. And thanks for hanging with me, despite my delayed post. I love y’all.

XO,

M

Let the Flowers Grow

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This week is our final week of our discipleship program (where I work) for the 2017-2018 school year. Today I was asked to share my “life-message” and a final message to our students.

How do you sum up all the potential life encouragement into one short message?

I would say that my life message is all about learning to nurture oneself. I believe that we all are a three part being: body, soul, and spirit. And I believe that it is pivotal that we nurtureeach part of our being.

Nurturing yourself looks like checking your soil. It looks like checking the environment that you are surrounding yourself in. Are the habits, relationships, and the media that watching/listening to pushing you to the environment that you want? Are those things pushing you to be the person that you want to be?

Nurturing yourself looks like letting sunshine into your heart. Nurturing yourself looks like letting yourself really look into your heart to see the pains, dreams, desires and opinions that are held within your heart. It looks like giving the deserved attention to the things in your heart. Nurturing yourself looks like healing the wounds, valuing the desires, sticking up for the opinions, and believing in the dreams.

Nurturing yourself looks like watering yourself. This looks like practically giving your body the things it needs (good foods, movement, love). It, also, looks like pursuing things that fill your spirit (worship, meditation, learning). Lastly, it looks like putting in time and effort towards your passions and hobbies (creating, sports, learning).

Nurturing yourself looks like giving yourself patience, grace, and space to grow. Growing requires energy to get taller and stronger. But it also means sometimes growing dead leaves. Sometimes we fail (it happens to all of us) but we need to give patience and grace and kindness to ourselves when we do grow dead leaves.

Nurturing yourself looks like allowing yourself to bloom. This means to allow yourself to press in to the good things life has in store for you. This means believing the good things said about you. It means accepting the opportunities that you have. It means not running away from the good things, it means running toward them. It, also, means allowing the world to see your petals. Don’t shy away from being seen, but embrace it.

Nurturing yourself looks like moving with the breeze of the spirit realm (whatever that looks like for you). It looks like being in-tune with what the spirit is doing.

Nurturing yourself looks like growing seeds of love and spreading them around. It looks like expressing love to all those around you.

And it looks like receiving the new seeds of love that enter your life.

Thanks for reading!! Let me know how YOU nurture yourself in the comments below!

XO,

M

Love heals.

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WOW.

I am shocked at the responses from last week’s post! (If you didn’t check it out…check it out here. It is all about my story with pornography & freedom). Thank you sooo much for the support and encouragement. It truly means the world to me.

After last weeks post, I really wanted to give some encouragement/hope to anyone that might be in the midst of struggle. (Whoops. I guess that applies to us all (; ) Life is hard and sometimes we simply need someone to tell us that it. is. possible.

Now, I know that some of you are not Christians and may not believe in God, but I also think that everyone is spiritual and desires spiritual growth. My desire in this space on the internet is to be a place where anyone, from any background, feels free to be. By this, I mean that I never want to push my thoughts onto anyone else…but I, too, want to make sure that I continue to allow myself the space to share what I feel needs to be said.

So, in this post…keep in mind that I honor where each and every one of you is.

Something that some of you do not know is that I work for a discipleship program. This is a spiritual program that focuses on working with adults to help them to heal emotional wounds, actively pursue personal growth, and urging them to connect deeper and deeper to God’s undeniable love for them.

Personally, I went through this program and was radically changed (you can read more about it here!) This program sees all kinds of people come through it’s doors: addicted, tormented, broken, hopeless, insecure, young, old, and everything in between.

I have seen LOVE heal each and every thing. I have seen LOVE mend the deepest of wounds. I have seen LOVE heal years of torment. I have seen LOVE show people to dream, love, believe. I have seen freedom from addictions. I have seen anger resolved. I have seen insecurities become areas of confidence. I have seen hope fill people’s lungs. I have seen dreams flood people’s minds. I have seen purity affect people’s lives. I have seen shame brush off of people’s shoulders. I have seen bodies restored. The healing, breakthrough, and freedom that I have seen in people’s lives is ridiculous (in the best of ways).

I do not know what you’re facing right now in your life. I don’t know what your past holds or what future complications you will experience. But, I want to say that THERE IS HOPE. Regardless of what it is…LOVE can heal.

I know that this is a little crazy…but today at work we replaced lies with truths. We went after the lies involved with comparison. For me, I was believing that that I was unworthy. After that, I apologized to God and to myself for partnering with that belief. And then, I was intentional to receive LOVE. After that experience, I feel so much lighter and fuller and happier.

(Now, that does not solve all problems. I have to continue to be intentional to stick with the new truth that I have learned. But, I have hope that this new truth can be maintained)

So, whatever it is that you are facing, LOVE is enough. LOVE  can heal. LOVE  can restore.

This is a short post, but one I truly believe in. Also, I just want to say that I am here for you…feel free to reach out. I would love to connect and encourage you.

What is the new truth you’re believing? Let me know in the comments!

XO,

M

Daphne

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Introducing my newest little member of my family…

Daphne.

Daphne is a miniture pinscher and chihuahua mix. She weighs somewhere between 8-12 pounds. She is 10 years old and the sweetest little woman. She barely barks, gets along with everyone, sleeps like a teenager, and loves to snuggle.

I adopted her from the most precious rescue down in San Francisco, called Muttville. It is a senior dog rescue (meaning they only recuse dogs 7 years and older). They are the friendliest people. The process of adopting her wasn’t that fast of an experience. It required a lot of thought and research. I grew up with animals and so I knew the commitment and effort that they require. I did not make the decision to take on that responsibility lightly.

Eventually I began to feel stressed about it all and I felt like the Lord told me that He had “the perfect one for me.” I chose to trust Him and that same day, this dog seemed to fall into my lap. She was uploaded to Muttville’s website. Her breed, size, and gender were all things that I really wanted. And, that tongue was officially what sold me. There were so many other parts of this adoption that made it perfect. Everything seemed to confirm that this precious girl was meant to be mine.

After receiving her, I felt like The Lord has told me that she is going to teach me many things.

Well, let me tell you…He did not lie! I have had her for a total of five days and I have already been stretched so much. It hasn’t been the multiple walks a day or the other required responsibilities. The thing that has been so stretching is it has required patience for myself.

As soon as I got her I felt so much pressure to feel a certain way about Daphne. I felt like I had to love her completely instantaneously. And if I am being completely honest, that has taken time. This whole process has brought up a lot of fear, too. What if I can’t do this? What if she dies? Is she throwing up? Is she about to pee? What if she runs away? Is this food okay? Is she happy? I’ve been so afraid. And all of that fear has kept love at a distance. As I began to realize that I was fixed on the fear, not on the love, I have gotten some clarity:

this is just taking me time.

I need time to get used to being a dog owner. I need time to get used to Daphne’s personality. I need time to learn our new routine. I need time. But, yet, I have just been adding more and more pressure. (disclaimer: on day 5, I am head over heels for Daphne. But all this fear has made it all difficult)

Yesterday I was talking to a friend. He proceeded to quote 1 Corinthians 13 saying that “love is patient, love is kind…” and as soon as he said that I realized that I have needed new levels of patience for myself in this whole dog process. I have needed to give myself the time and grace required to fall in love with this new friend. I have needed to be allowed to take time and I have needed to give my grace when the fears come up, or when I spend money on food she doesn’t like, or when I go to work.

I am growing. I am learning. I deserve patience.

So, I have begun the process of changing my perspective and incorporating a new aspect of self love: patience. This process begins by simply keeping this new truth at the front of my mind: I deserve to have patience with myself. I keep thinking about that concept and I keep repeating the truth. The next step is to actively act on this new truth. I must have patience with myself.

How do you have patience with yourself? Give ya girl some tips below! PS: make sure you’re subscribing to my blog! (on the right hand side) By subscribing, all new blog posts will be sent directly to your email!

Sending you all the love…

XO,

M

Y E S .

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Recently life has felt a bit mundane. It feels like I have fallen into a rut of doing the motions of what is required from me…wake up, work, eat, sleep, repeat. How boring. I absolutely do not want to live my life in a boring and mundane way. I want to live with vibrancy, excitement, and enthusiasm.

One of the things that has felt particularly important this season is the word YES. Every time I say “yes” I feel this extra level of responsibility. I feel this extra level of importance behind each of my agreements. I have been feeling like I really need to say “yes” more.

I have talked to a friend or two about their life and they have had a similar feeling of mundane. (Have you been feeling that, too?)

So…what to do with all this information?

I have decided to be a bit more intentional with my “yes.” (I use the word “intentional” quite a bit. So, I thought I would explain. I use the word “intentional” to mean actively pursuing or going after with ferocity.) By this, I mean that I am searching for moments to say “yes” and I am embracing them as they come. I am eagerly saying “yes” to most of the things that have come my way. And with each of those opportunities, I am sacrificing.

I am sacrificing my original plan. I am sacrificing my normal. I am sacrificing in order to embrace the new “yes.”

I am learning a ton.

What if I did not plan every moment of every day? What if I said “yes” to fun as opposed to “yes” to plans? What if I embraced my opportunities each and every day?

Some of you might be thinking…”Well, that’s a great concept Maranda…prove you’re doing it.” Well, about a week ago I got asked to attend a concert three hours away. They needed an answer pretty immediately and I had about 30 minutes to think about it. A prayer and a good song later, I was committed.

Two days later and I was in the car and on my way.

The concert was great, but the friends were even better. We heard great music, got out of town, and laughed the entire trip. I am so happy that I went. But, in order to embrace that experience…I had to sacrifice my time, sleep, and money in order to go.

Now, this is a great example that makes the sacrifices completely seem worth it. But, sometimes the sacrifices aren’t as easy to make. Sometimes, they create some discomfort. And sometimes, the “yes” was not worth it in the end. But, better to try than to question what if.

So, I write this blog post to urge you to embrace life a bit more. Say “yes” to the scary things. Say “yes” to the dreams. Say “yes” to the new adventures (even if that just looks like taking yourself out to coffee!!).

Your life is what you make it.

What is your newest (and most exciting) “yes”? What are you embracing in your life? Let me know in the comments!

Thanks for reading.

XO,

M

A Little Word about Fear (Car accident story)

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So a couple of nights ago I was driving on the highway and it was raining. Rain isn’t very new in Humboldt County (where I live). The rain started to pick up and I started to slow down my speed. I then hit this wall of weather. The weather turned into a hail, snow mixture. I lost traction. I spun and watched as the median wall came at me. It was crazy that I could do nothing but watch as I ran into the median wall. It was terrifying. My sweet boyfriend, Christian, was driving behind me and we were on the phone; he saw the whole thing. We got to a semi-safe place on the road and stopped. The hail kept pounding and the tears were streaming. Christian got out, checked on me and the car, and then talked to me on the phone the whole way home. I made it home safe. Thankfully, I was not hurt and my car was drivable.

(disclaimer: I know that it could have been sooooo much worse and I am not trying to come across as insensitive to someone in a similar situation & it has been so much worse.)

As I drove home that night I was, obviously, a mess and was just trying to wrap my head around the fact that it could have been so much worse. I was this mix of trembling fear and breathtaking thankfulness.

I feel like this experience was a great example of what fear can do.

Driving home after the accident was horrible. I was trembling the entire time, my breathing was sporadic, and the tears never stopped. I got home and lost it. I cried and cried and cried and cried. Christian just kept repeating, “you’re safe. You’re safe. You’re safe.” The days that followed were really robotic. I was in a fog of fear. I tried to avoid driving, making excuses that made sense in my head. And I called my parents. Thankfully, everyone in my life kindly pushed me to get behind the wheel again. I was scared. Fear was overwhelming and it controlled me. But I had a choice: partner with the fear or respond do it in bravery.

Fear is crippling. Fear is controlling. Fear is a monster. You cannot partner with fear. It will ruin your life.

I decided to face the road again & to feel every emotion that came with it. Over the next few days I cried a lot, randomly. Every time I passed the spot it happened, I would hold my breath and then the tears would flow again. Or when I would see the damage done to my car & more tears. Or I would think about how lucky I am to be alive and I would have more emotion. I refused to stuff any of the feelings down and instead, embraced them all. I, also, had to do a lot of positive self-talk as I faced the fears of driving.

I, now, have to deal with the consequences of the situation: decide to file a claim or not,  get the car fixed, get new tires, etc. I have to watch as my bank account gets smaller and smaller. I have to trust in myself and God, that this is going to work out financially. Every time I think about my finances I feel the anxiety rising. But, again, I will respond to this fear instead of sit in it.

I am facing this fear head on. I am exploring my options financially. I am talking to people that know these situations better than me. I am thankful for the money I do have and the money that is headed my way. I am sacrificing my time, energy, and focus in order to connect with peace, bravery, and love.

As I end this post, I don’t know if I have tips for you on facing fear, but! I can provide you with encouragement that you are not alone. Fear is a liar, killer, and thief. Fear is a sticky mess that pops up in the worst times. Fear does not deserve your time and attention. So, as you face fear (no matter how big or how small) know that you aren’t alone in this bravery. I am fighting fear, too. And I believe that with the help of a companion, anything is possible!

One last thing, facing fear does not have to look big like sky diving. Sometimes, it is just getting out of bed in the morning. Or, eating that day. Sometimes facing fear looks like letting the tears flow. So don’t think you have to move a mountain to call yourself brave.

Thanks for reading. I would love to hear how YOU are being brave these days! Comment below!

XO,

M

PS: This wonderful photo was captured by a dear woman in my life : Jess Anne Lehman.

Balancing Act

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Recently I have had kind of a bit of a rough time. We are two month in to 2018 and this year has been a challenge. I think, to sum up the year in one word so far would be balance. I have been learning to have balance at work, my personal life, my emotions, and basically everything else you could have to learn to balance.

Unfortunately, finding balance isn’t easy. But the lack of balance is even harder.

My process in searching for balance has looked a lot like me learning where I end and where my surroundings begin. My surroundings have been raging. There have been a dozen different things in my surroundings that have begged for my attention. The bummer thing is that I have given my attention, time, and energy to my surroundings. And, when I list out the things that have taken my attention externally, I understand why I have done what I’ve done. My friends, family, work, and adulting responsibilities are valid things to give my time to. But I think my problem is that I have given the best of my attention, time, and energy to these things and have given myself the left overs of my attention, time, and energy. THAT is my problem.

In January, I was really struggling with overthinking. I needed balance between the things I loved and my responsibilities. I was really caught up in my performance as opposed to celebrating who I was. I was searching for places and moments of failure. I was always looking for my boss, friends, and boyfriend to be disappointed in me. It sucked. And I felt consumed by the emotion of it all. I was crying often and became consumed with fear. But then I finally got my head out of the ground and realized that there was sunshine in the sky. I had forgotten the necessary balance needed between my innate value and my desire to grow. It took me way too long to remember that I am worthy, simply because I Am. I had forgotten that it isn’t about performance or what I can accomplish, but it is about enjoying my life and celebrating my growth. But I also had to remember to respect and honor everyone else’s responsibility to communicate with me if there was a problem. The only thing I can do is be the best version of my self– which includes asking questions for more clarity, being honest and vulnerable with my feelings and fears, and, lastly, allowing myself space to blossom to my full capacity.

And then came February and I really began to recognize the amount of distractions surrounding me. I watched myself get caught up with these nonsense things. I saw myself go from activity to activity and they all required me to pour out. I was pouring out my time and energy and I would return home with nothing left to give to my own heart. I had lost the balance of getting filled up and pouring out. I had lost my balance of valuing myself. I felt disconnected from myself and I felt a bit numb. But I realized what I was doing. I realized that my heart had not been given the time to express or breathe.

So where is balance and how do I find it?

One of the biggest keys is giving the best of my time and attention to the things that should have my best. For me, that means taking time to sit and connect with my heart and connect with The Lord. Then– my close relationships should get my time. And then comes all my other responsibilities. It is too common to give your best time and your best amounts of attention to work, yet work isn’t the most important thing that we have in our lives.

I think another thing that is super important is writing out your priorities. For me, this looked like writing out that my priority was to be the best version of myself and to strive for growth but not be consumed by it. It, also, looked like me writing out which relationships are most positive towards my heart and well being. In my moments of lack, I prioritize the relationships that fill me up.

Lastly, as weird as it might seem, I allowed my heart space to breathe. I verbalized (yes, out loud) that my heart was free to feel, free to need, and free to speak. I gave my heart space to be true to itself–which is actually allowing true Maranda to have space.

Doing these three things really helped me to find my balance (or at least move towards balance). It is allowing me space and time

Have you been feeling meh? What has 2018 been like for you so far? I would love to hear in the comments below! Thanks for reading!

XO,

M

PS: What are your thoughts on the new design?! Let me know!

The Power of Me (Guest Post: Destiny Story)

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One thing I want to use this social platform for is to promote and celebrate the people around me. I am someone that searches for lessons & inspiration from those around me and I want to share those stunning people with you all!

This first guest post is by a woman that is dear to my heart. She has been in my life for almost two years and I am deeply blessed by her:

Destiny Story EFC06971-A31D-486D-A638-69E09A6FAE27.JPG

When I think about who Destiny is I think of one word: brave. She is a woman that looks at life, her challenges, her fears, her dreams and responds to them bravely. Destiny has bravely stood in the wilderness of life and come out to the other side. She has stood, alone and scared, and yet she has not turned away.

Destiny Story is a brave woman.

In this post she has written, she shares about some of her wilderness. She shares about a process that I’ve had the privilege to watch her walk through. And as a witness to this time in her life, I can safely say that she has a lot of wisdom & inspiration on the things she shares. So, let her sweet words inspire you!

XO,

M

Ps: You can check out D’s blog here: https://destinystoryblog.wordpress.com

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My whole life I’ve felt like I wasn’t enough, or honestly, that I was just too much. I’ve felt not skinny enough, not talented enough, not pretty enough, not smart enough, not funny enough, not good enough. I’ve felt too loud, too tall, too fat, too opinionated, too passive, too emotional, too sensitive, too different.

I’ve always felt like I was different and I’ve spent most of my life just trying to decide if what made me different was good or bad. But I think somewhere around 7th grade I subconsciously decided that it was a bad thing, a really bad thing, that would forever keep me separated from those around me. I thought I would never be able to connect with people because it felt as if people never wanted to connect to me (my parents and friends) or that I was always “too much, not enough” for the people around me to connect with. I felt creative but was never shown it was okay to be creative in ways that didn’t quite make sense and I was never shown it was okay for it not to be perfect. I buried myself in perfectionism because it seemed all the amazing people were, and the sad part was that people around me wouldn’t have known because it was all in my internal world! It revealed itself in my self talk and my constant attempts to “fix” myself that only led to me feeling suicidal.

Even after I became a Christian, it only intensified. Except this time thankfully I was healed enough to not feel suicidal, but I did feel like the weight and the pressure of always doing things perfectly would eventually break me. I had somewhere, along my journey in life, picked up this idea that the real me was too messy and would never be good enough so I needed to make up for it with perfect actions. Ha! Funny, huh? I mean this was definitely not something I would consciously know I was doing! It would look like me trying really hard, being praised for my actions, and then making a mistake and beating myself up for it for days and thinking “what else could I have done? I’m doing everything I can and it’s still not enough!” and then eventually trying to make up for it by pretending like it didn’t happen and continue doing more things that would look perfect.

But the problem with this is that I had equated being “enough” to things that were unattainable, like never making a mistake or never hurting anyone’s feelings. Anybody ever been through something like this? Ever try to perform for love? I’m guessing that I’m probably not alone in this. I’ve noticed as a human race, generally we have more grace for others than we do ourselves.

But sometime last year I decided this thing that made me different may not have actually ever been a bad thing! What if my imperfections made me beautiful? What if my emotions made things fun and are natural? What if my sensitivity wasn’t a weakness, but a strength? What if my chubby body could be enough for me and eventually someone else? What if making mistakes only made me human? Could I still be loved if someone saw them? If I were fully me, mistakes and all, would I be enough?

These were the questions running through my head and I made the decision that I was going to try being seen. I decided to show people that I was different. I decided to try allowing myself to be loved through my mistakes. Because when I try to be “perfect” I still don’t feel like I’m enough, and I never get to be truly authentic. And that life wasn’t working for me.

I went to Oregon last year on a missions trip and after days of barely sleeping and not being able to control a single thing, I could feel my emotions starting to rise. And as they got closer to the surface I could feel them starting to bubble over into my actions. I was short with people and I was crying uncontrollably. I felt embarrassed but free. I knew that these people doing life with me would see a side of me I was afraid of showing to people that hadn’t been in my life for an extended period of time. But I couldn’t care anymore. I decided to take a risk and be vulnerable and see how they responded.

And to my freaking surprise they still loved me!

And not only that, they complemented me! They asked me what I needed, they encouraged me, and they loved me through it. And not just once, but repetitively. I was UNDONE. This was not a way of life that I was familiar with! But I knew I could never turn back.

I’m coming up on a year since that trip and as I reflect I see that my journey of accepting myself and being vulnerably me, has not been a fun or pretty journey. I have hid, I have made some of the most painful mistakes I’ve ever made this past year and I’ve been the most myself I’ve ever been in my whole life. I’ve never been as open with those close to me quiet like I have in this past year. I’m loving who Destiny is more than I thought possible and I know there’s only so much more!

You see, perfectionism tells you that until you do everything right, you aren’t enough. But a life of freedom looks like vulnerability. It looks like showing the world who you truly are and not wavering in the truth that,

you are enough. No questions asked.

A life of freedom consists of making mistakes and allowing the people who are close to you into them because you do not deserve to be alone during it. A life of freedom looks like you being confident in what you enjoy doing and wearing. A life of freedom looks like creating without comparison.

Being vulnerably you will set you free from perfectionism or performance. There’s nothing quiet like when you allow yourself to be who you’ve always been in the inside. And I promise dear friends, there are people who are dying to love you as you. All your unique characteristics, all the things you’ve thought were too much, all of the parts of you that you thought weren’t enough, they are worthy of love. Because we all have them, let’s be honest. None of us have it all together. But none of us have to pretend like we do anymore. I’m starting to see that the people I admire the most are people who are unashamedly them. Unwavering to the opinions of others, they stand tall in who they are and they let themselves show. This is strength. This is vulnerability. Vulnerability is strength. And this is who I want to be. I am deciding that I will no longer look at people on social media, the models on tv or Pinterest, or even the people around me and think “I wish I were like them”, but instead I will say

“I’m thankful that I am ME. Because no one can be ME.”

So dear ones, will you join me in living a life of being vulnerably us? Will you join me in leaving perfectionism and comparison behind?? Let us celebrate who we are and what we create and what we do well, because we were always designed to do it the way only we can do it.

Xoxo

Destiny Story

#MoreSelfLove

Lessons Love has Taught Me

Blog Post

Happy Valentines Day!

Well, due to the fact today is the day of love…I feel a beautiful obligation to post something along the lines of romance. Now, as a young woman in her first serious relationship, I am far from a relationship expert. BUT, I have learned waaaayyyy more than ever expected within these last 18 or so months. I have decided to share some of these lessons that I have learned.

Now, I am aware that some of you, beautiful readers, might not be in a romantic relationship, or even might be in a disaster of a romantic relationship, or that maybe you do not want to ever be in a romantic relationship. These lessons I have learned are true for any relationship (romantic or not). So, regardless of your Facebook relationship status, I do encourage you to read on. (Ps: if you are in a disaster of romance…honor and respect what you truly deserve. Which is all the good things the world has to offer)

#1. Forgiveness is key.

Something that I learned very early on within my relationship is that forgiveness is key to a successful relationship. Forgiveness allows a healing of shortcomings, wrong doings, and disappointment. Forgiveness allows a relationship to restore the connection back to before the hurt took place. Forgiveness allows you to continue to develop a pure (untainted) relationship. Forgiveness has allowed my relationship to blossom without any sort of hindrance in my heart, or his.

#2. Your partner is human, too.

When I dreamt about my future relationship, I pictured me and all the things of me but I never pictured him and all of his things. I never pictured things like his strengths, quirks, or insecurities. I did not imagine that my partner would have an overwhelming amount of grace or that he would have an obsession with movies. I did not imagine the required time to learn someone. I did not imagine the required space to allow someone the space to fully express themselves, the good and bad. I appreciate who he is, all of him, and I have learned to allow him the space needed. This lesson has translated into non-romantic relationships, too. The ability to allow someone to be is incredible.

#3. Communication is the most beautiful gift.

Being a communications major, I truly see the glory of communication. I recognize that communication is pivotal to creating the life you want to live. But, I have learned a new depth to my love for communication by being in a romantic relationship, The experience getting to communicate, share, and open up with all of my deep insecurities, needs, and desires is an extremely humbling experience. It is absolutely terrifying to share your inner thoughts and feelings, but communication allows us to create a mutual intimacy. Communication is liberating. It allows me to know my partner more and allows him to know me. It is one of the most beautiful aspects of a relationship. So, be brave in your communicating. Be brave in your expression, even if your voice shakes.

#4. Sacrifice is an honor.

One thing that I didn’t fully recognize until this relationship was the power of sacrifice. I knew that you had to sacrifice for things you love and that anything you say “yes” to requires you to say “no” to other things. but, I did not really realize that I could absolutely find joy within sacrifice. I truly find joy to sacrifice for my partner. I find joy in getting to say “yes” to him everyday and, in turn, say “no” to other things.

#5. Do not overthink it.

One thing that I completely failed at in the beginning of our relationship was that I got caught up with my worries way more than I reveled in the wonder. There is something so special about a new crush and a fresh relationship, but I was so paranoid by what others might be thinking or if I was making a mistake. When I think about my relationship, I get sad by the fact that I let worry steal some of my wonder. I let worry rob me of the gift set before me. Now, with a deep desire to have learned my lesson, I refuse to allow doubt to steal my wonder, excitement, or joy anymore. (I think I will write more on this one day, but if you are in a similar spot I would LOVE to talk more about this. Reach out!)

#6. Find your “perfect” relationship.

Going in to my first serious relationship, I kind of expected things to look like they do in the movies and the tv shows. I expected to constantly gaze into each others eyes, never worry about the amount of coffee drank, and always be in the best outfits (that never had any fashion disasters). What I quickly realized was that those relationships depicted in television are not true relationships. My partner and I had to find the things that work well for him and I. It isn’t about a “supposed to” but finding what works for me and my partner. So, don’t be consumed with supposed to but instead figure out what makes your heart come alive and share that with your partner. Find out what makes their heart alive and celebrate that with them. I now spend my time watching movies, going to music stores, and I drag him with me to explore the aisles of grocery stores.

#7. Love is always worth it.

No matter what you are facing, I promise to you…love is worth the risk. Love is a risky experience. It requires humility, vulnerability, and facing fears head on. Regardless of the difficult things my partner and I have had to face together…experiencing the love we have built and chosen is worth every fear and insecurity and difficulty.

 

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Recent photo with the boyfriend. ❤

 

 

Thanks so much for reading. I hope that, today, you would be surrounded by love (regardless of what that looks like for you). Let me know your V-day plans in the comments below!! ❤

XO,

M