One thing I know to be true about myself, is that I long to create waves. Creating waves in peoples thoughts, lives, or the societal systems. But, I have always had this internal battle of wanting to make waves, but not wanting to be an inconvenience.
I was so afraid of inconveniencing people that I began to quiet my inner voice that challenged me to splash in the oceans of life. I became a follower. I went with the flow. I stopped questioning things.
A few months ago, some things happened in my life that began to open me up to new concepts. It began to tug on my mind, reminding me of how wildly I used to think out of the box.
The other day I was talking to a dear friend. He had no idea the season I have been in but he told me that he believed that asking questions was one of the best ways for humans to love themselves.
Since he said that to me, I have realized my questions have majorly increased. That statement opened me up to ask the tough questions. I am questioning why I believe the things I believe. I am questioning what I think is best for me. I am questioning how I want to exist in this world. It is a journey that feels scary, wild, and a bit lonely.
Yesterday I was given the sweetest gift. It was a bag full of positive, inspiring, and timely things, along with a note that gave me the words to describe my season: a pause.
A momentary hesitation.
The path that I am walking of true discovery is completely worth it. I am so proud of myself for being brave enough to begin to ask questions. But in this process I have had a momentary hesitation.
A momentary hesitation to examine each element of my life.
A momentary hesitation to rediscover my beliefs.
A momentary hesitation to be confident in my conclusions.
I have taken a moment to slow down enough to ask. To take the time necessary to reeeally ask myself what I think about things.
I restarted the book You Are a Badass by Jen Sincero. She says, “All this to say that its not your fault you’re fucked up. It’s your fault if you stay fucked up…” I was moved.
It isn’t my fault that others think a certain way. It isn’t my fault that I naturally am inclined to specific beliefs. But, it is my responsibility to decide what I want to think. It is my responsibility to look at the details of my life and ask the questions. It is my responsibility to feel fully confident in each and every aspect of my life.
I get to be powerfully and completely in control of how I will manage my life.
I challenge you to ask the tough questions that are needed for your life, your situation, and your discovery.
Even if its scary.
Even if your voice shakes.
Ask the questions.